Showing Up When Times Get Tough
I recently posted a reel to Instagram. It was a post I had been contemplating for a very long time. Like much of my art, this post comes with a story–from a broken moment when I felt alone. Unfortunately, I’m guessing that my experience isn’t unique. If this is you and it is dark and hard to see the way forward right now, hang on love, it will get better. One way or another, it will. My heart is with you and you are not alone.
But this post is even more for your friends, your spouse, your coworkers, your loved ones. To you I say this, if you’ve never known deep darkness, please thank your lucky stars. If you have someone you care about who is in the darkness right now, I can’t express enough how powerful it can be to simply be heard and not feel alone. It takes sacrifice to put your needs aside and just sit with someone in their pain without fixing or judging it. I understand. But it is powerful……kind, loving and powerful.
Several years back, I was going through a very difficult time. Generally speaking, I keep things very close–especially when they are new wounds and still raw. But it was a particularly difficult season, complicated and without quick resolve. Carrying the burdens were making me weak and tired, so I decided to open up and share with a friend. I am careful about who I trust with my tender spots and even though I knew this person to be only gentle, kind, and patient, I was still hesitant. It’s just my nature. As I opened up and shared, I could feel an uneasiness bubble up between us. Outwardly she was kind and polite, but it became clear as the conversation progressed that my mess, was just too messy. I had crossed some invisible line. I had shared too much or she worried I’d be a burden or it was more realness than she had bargained for. Whatever it was didn’t actually matter, because in that moment, I felt awash with rejection and pain. Already a wounded creature, I felt a hot poker politely jabbed into my open wound. I was devastated, embarrassed and full of shame.
It’s been many years since this experience, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit, it took a long time to pull apart, understand, find that golden wisdom and forgive us both. To be free of resentment is like growing wings, or taking a deep deep breath into lungs that have been only able to breathe a shallow breath for far too long. To forgive is one of the greatest things we can experience as a human, because this is where true freedom lives. But that’s for another post. With love.
If you are new here, welcome. Please have a look around. You will find art, encouragement and fun tools for making life more manageable. I am a huge believer in using the creative process to manifest more well-being in your life. So you will find lots of free things (and more being added each week) to encourage you to explore your own unique expression. Creativity single handedly pulled me out of a difficult time. It is a powerhouse tool that is available to everyone and is just sitting there in plain sight. I invite you to explore your own journey towards self expression and make a little corner of joy and connection for yourself.
To get you started, feel free to download these coloring pages. It’s free. Much of what you will find here is. Much peace to you for the journey.